Hi everyone. I have been totally obsessed with my epilepsy lately. Possibly a normal reaction considering my recent experiences. I got out a couple of books from the library to learn more about my JME (Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy). I now regret not reading up on the subject when I was first diagnosed. I have learnt a lot more about epilepsy in general and my particular type.
A lot of epilepsy's are childhood/adolescence and will gradually disappear. I must be one of those special cases where the Lord knew I would accept (finally!) my epilepsy as it is one for life. Definately a tough one to accept. I do now know that I am one of millions and millions that have a life term illness.
I have been learning the down side of epilepsy. The short term memory is one of the most affected in me, something to do with where my seizures generally start from. We have a lot more happening in our brains that I never really thought about. Another one is the shakes and being clumsy.
Mentally I am doing okay. Its a real struggle to realise and accept that I have this thing that is stopping me having a "normal" life. What I mean is that I'm not allowed to drive (obvious), but I'm also not allowed to cycle or swim unattended. I only just got my bike for my birthday. Doctor told me that eventually when my seizures are controlled I'll be able to do these things again. Eventually being the optimal word. I'm having to tell myself to keep thinking positive, after all, I could have been driving when I had my tonic-clonic seizure (Grand mal) or if I'd been swimming I could have drowned. So where to from now? I get seizure control and continue to praise God that its a condition that can be medically controlled and 99.9 percent non fatal.
Love and blessings
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
May already!
I haven't updated this one for a long time! I really must remedy that.
I'm enjoying my Book Editing, Proofreading & Publishing course. I've just sent away the second assignment. The first one came back when we were away in Aussie. They don't grade but offer corrections, suggestions, reminders, constructive critiscism and praise. I'm finding it a juggle to double my reading time. Who would have thought that would be a problem! I am required to broaden my reading material as well. Guess I have to miss out on the goggle box (TV), no harm in that though.
I am struggling at the moment with having had two recent Grand Mal seizures. I was angry about it, maybe still am a wee bit. Don't see why I had to be the one to get the epilepsy genes. I'd have gladly shared that one! I am fed up with taking all this medication and for seemingly no reason. Although I am aware that things could be a lot worse. At the moment I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb but with no deadline. I'm not allowed to even go for my bike rides or swim unattended till the medication is sorted out. I'm a wee bit afraid to be alone too. Thanks for caring friends I've been able to hang out with I haven't had to be. But I can't keep doing that either. I know the Lord is still with me, even carrying me through this. Flesh is strong though. My imagination plays havoc with the words 'What if?'
We have bought another house now. We feel its better to have our money invested in a property than just sitting and gaining very little. Its a nice place. 3bdm, heat pump, very large section, and brick. Its about 20yrs old and a bit dated with the decor but we'll make it home.
Our possession date is the 30th May. I'd better start packing really. Although we've moved so often that I'm sure I could do it in my sleep.
Aimee turns 5yrs on the 6th June. She starts school on the 11th. My baby! This is where I'm glad I have my study to do. And we'll have just moved so I'll have plenty to keep me occupied. Some days I look forward to her going to school and the time out it means for me. Mostly though I find myself not wanting that time to be so soon. I use to get annoyed with women that said to me
"Enjoy these years when they're at home, it goes so quickly you'll miss it when its gone".
They're right. I think its something I had to find out for myself to appreciate what they were saying. But they're right. There's so many moments that I look back on and would change. Times when I wasn't so appreciative for having 3 children. My depression had a big part to play in my regrets, but whats been has been and its looking forward that we need to do.
Well I better sign off. Its later thanI thought which explains why my eyes are blurring. Goodnight, sleep tight. This picture is so lovely I thought I'd share it.
I'm enjoying my Book Editing, Proofreading & Publishing course. I've just sent away the second assignment. The first one came back when we were away in Aussie. They don't grade but offer corrections, suggestions, reminders, constructive critiscism and praise. I'm finding it a juggle to double my reading time. Who would have thought that would be a problem! I am required to broaden my reading material as well. Guess I have to miss out on the goggle box (TV), no harm in that though.
I am struggling at the moment with having had two recent Grand Mal seizures. I was angry about it, maybe still am a wee bit. Don't see why I had to be the one to get the epilepsy genes. I'd have gladly shared that one! I am fed up with taking all this medication and for seemingly no reason. Although I am aware that things could be a lot worse. At the moment I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb but with no deadline. I'm not allowed to even go for my bike rides or swim unattended till the medication is sorted out. I'm a wee bit afraid to be alone too. Thanks for caring friends I've been able to hang out with I haven't had to be. But I can't keep doing that either. I know the Lord is still with me, even carrying me through this. Flesh is strong though. My imagination plays havoc with the words 'What if?'
We have bought another house now. We feel its better to have our money invested in a property than just sitting and gaining very little. Its a nice place. 3bdm, heat pump, very large section, and brick. Its about 20yrs old and a bit dated with the decor but we'll make it home.
Our possession date is the 30th May. I'd better start packing really. Although we've moved so often that I'm sure I could do it in my sleep.
Aimee turns 5yrs on the 6th June. She starts school on the 11th. My baby! This is where I'm glad I have my study to do. And we'll have just moved so I'll have plenty to keep me occupied. Some days I look forward to her going to school and the time out it means for me. Mostly though I find myself not wanting that time to be so soon. I use to get annoyed with women that said to me
"Enjoy these years when they're at home, it goes so quickly you'll miss it when its gone".
They're right. I think its something I had to find out for myself to appreciate what they were saying. But they're right. There's so many moments that I look back on and would change. Times when I wasn't so appreciative for having 3 children. My depression had a big part to play in my regrets, but whats been has been and its looking forward that we need to do.
Well I better sign off. Its later thanI thought which explains why my eyes are blurring. Goodnight, sleep tight. This picture is so lovely I thought I'd share it.
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